Summertime. It’s the season of romance, when people are happier to head outside, show some skin, and enjoy flirting more with each other. At the café, park or beach, eyes meet, and you joke around; she laughs and unconsciously plays with her hair, and a lively conversation starts flowing. Everything seems fine until you light up, and that’s when things take a turn.
As a woman, I’ll share a few tips from a woman’s perspective and will talk about how you can have better luck with ladies who don’t smoke. This little insight into the psychology of women may inspire you to make one of the most important decisions in your life: kicking your smoking habit.
The right impression
When we look at recent trends, smoking is something that is falling out of fashion. Even if there are still a lot of ladies who smoke these days, the decided majority of the female population are non-smokers. Non-smoking women not only dislike cigarettes or anything associated with smoking, but they also hate to stay in places that smell of tobacco, and it is also very disturbing for them to socialize with people who smoke. If you never considered these things before and wondered why your luck with women was not amazing, it can be just because women usually don’t express their feelings easily and don’t tell you openly that they hate the bad smell of your cigarettes or your bad breath.
Try to think about this: if this is the case with most women out there, it follows that men who smoke have significantly smaller chances to start a romantic relationship. On the contrary, if you decide to quit smoking, you will make a more positive impression and will get more opportunities to start a romance with a non-smoking girl.
So she doesn’t smoke…
Imagine you are dating a non-smoking girl. Where would you choose to go with her? What do you do for a date? And what happens when you want a quick smoke? Many guys don’t really think these things through, and although it seems like the date went well, it’s a mystery why she doesn’t text or call back afterward. Thinking from her perspective and about how the date might play out is pretty important. Not only does it make you look a lot more considerate (yes, girls do go for sensitivity), but she’ll know that you are respecting not only her, but yourself as well.
But if you let the girl know you are trying to stop smoking not only because of your own health, but also because you care for her and want to make her feel happy and comfortable, she will for sure not hesitate to tell you where and how she wants to spend her time with you and is if she suggests a non-smoking restaurant, you should know that she is trying to protect you to stay away from the temptation of nicotine.
Top 5 tips when dating non-smoking women
1. Before the date: We understand that you smoke. Just try not to smell like it.
A guy who smells like smoke isn’t attractive to most girls, but a guy who makes us smell like cigarettes as well, is the guy we don’t call back. Prepping for your date is just as important. You might not realize it, but your clothes (and car and apartment) probably have a stale tobacco smell attached to them. Although there are a few odor control sprays out there, the simplest preventative and natural odor control is probably to buy some white vinegar (aka distilled vinegar and pouring it into a few dishes that you leave around your apartment (and closet). Vinegar can break down the molecules that cause tobacco odor and rejuvenate the indoor air.
In addition, you can crack open a few small boxes of baking soda, which can absorb odors, and place them around as well. For clothes drawers, a simple solution can be to place baking soda on an old washcloth or piece of fabric, and wrap it up. (For rugs, you simply sprinkle some baking soda and let it sit over night, then vacuum it up in the morning.)
2. Search for non-smoking spots.
Take her to a place where she can feel comfortable getting to know you, which means that it won’t be a pub or place with stuffy air full of tobacco smoke. If you want to sit down somewhere together and you find a café where smoking is not prohibited, she may suggest a non-smoking place．As a smoker, it may be difficult for you to suggest somewhere that’s completely smoke-free, since a lot of your usual date spots might include a space where you can get away for a quick smoke.
You may also want to consider what triggers you to smoke, like drinking alcohol or coffee. Some smokers want to have a quick cigarette after dinner. If you are conscious about situations that might make you want to smoke, you can either try to change the order up (e.g. have a quick smoke before dinner instead of after) or avoid something altogether.
3. Try not to smoke in front of her.
Obviously, even if she says she doesn’t mind, odds are that she does – so don’t light up in front of her. It’s an incredible turn-off. Even if you’re driving and exhale out the window, smoke will still end up in the car and on her clothes. (We much prefer having the smell of his cologne linger on our clothes than his icky cigarette smoke.)
Instead, prepare in advance. At least bring with you a pack of sugarless gum to help with cravings, or if you are using a different quit-smoking aid, remember to bring it with you. If you are going away for a weekend and think you will want a smoke, don’t forget a deodorizing spray or something that will at least mask the smell of smoke.
4. If you do have to smoke, ask.
First of all, it’s basic manners. But more than that, it shows that you respect her and her non-smoking lifestyle.
5. Don’t be afraid to talk about your desire to quit.
Trying to quit, but still find it tough? Quitting addiction is a struggle, but talking about it doesn’t make you any less of a man in our eyes. If anything, most girls respect a guy’s flexibility with change and will definitely appreciate your efforts to get rid of a bad habit. Most likely you can expect that she will find you all the more attractive as true love is born from the feeling of gratitude and sharing.
Still hesitating over when to quit? Planning your quit day this summer may be a great way to meet the person of your dreams.
Ladies, any other tips that you would offer? Guys, any questions you have? Let us know in the comments below.